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Sharing Custody With a Jerk
Getting Ready for Freedom
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I am not a divorce or family lawyer and, therefore, cannot advise you as to the legal aspects of your predicament. Likewise, I
am not a therapist, counselor or psychologist and, thus, my intention is not to analyze, diagnose, treat or heal you.
The solutions I have found spring from my education in linguistics (language
communication) , my passion for and extensive training as a professional life coach,
the lessons I’ve learned while being exposed to psychological rape and my experience of having helped hundreds of women like you transform their lives.
I believe that everyone has the right to
live a self-directed fulfilling life. When faced with adversity, I believe that much more can be accomplished by redirecting your life, than by fighting endless battles.
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“Experience Toughens, Enlightenment Empowers,
Insight Nourishes and Learning Confers.”
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I hope you will find some of the information, programs and services that I offer helpful. Turning your life around may take time and effort. But, then, what can be more compelling than to know
that your investment is taking you closer to the tipping point!
When you can truthfully and honestly view your experience with your ex more as an inoculation than an invasion, you know you’ve broken FREE! I can help you get there with less growing pains!
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Getting Ready for Freedom
Action Plan
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Where to start
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Divorce is a life crisis - and more so for the serial jerk. The bully stands to lose not only his spouse but an important source of
narcissistic supply. This results in narcissistic injury, rage, and an all-pervasive feeling of injustice, helplessness and paranoia.
Your best defense would be your feet - use them to walk away!
Unfortunately, very few divorcees recognize a serial jerk soon enough to take the appropriate
legal actions at the time of separation. Most of us end up in a life long tug-of-war, struggling
to co-parent and cooperate peacefully, as required by the law when you share custody of your children.
Sometimes, the solution is that there is no solution. The
question is, how much longer are you willing to stay frustrated over THAT?
Here’s what you can do to redirect your life, so that you can break free safely and graciously, regardless of your circumstances.
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1. Educate yourself.
Read the information on this website and the suggested resources about:
- How to recognize a serial jerk (bully) and related.
- How to cope with your serial jerk throughout the prolonged process.
- How to expose the manipulations of the jerk.
- What to expect of a narcissist as your divorce/life unfolds.
Be informed and prepared, so you don’t have to worry!
Recognizing that/if you are dealing with a jerk is your first step!
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Serial Jerk Profile
Am I being bullied
Q&A
Games People Play
Why you don’t stand up for yourself
Your kids are non-divorceable
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2. Secure the best legal help you can afford, just in case you will need it.
Stay informed about the law;
keep a minute journal with every fact that you can record. It’ll come in handy, if needed. Explore asking the court for a psychological evaluation. Delegate communication to a mediator. Check with your local Bar Association for available free or sliding scale services.
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Get legal info at:
www.nolo.com
Info on psych evaluations:
www.hare.org
Info on custody evaluation:
SPARC
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3. Start your recovery from psychological abuse.
We are all human. If your interaction with your jerk causes you emotional distress,
working with a coach to reengineer your life may help. If, however, you believe you’ve incurred any emotional and/or psychological damage (which is distinctly different
from mental disease), then working with a licensed psychologist or therapist is required. Get therapy/help if needed. If there is physical abuse involved, against you or
your children, file a report with the police immediately, then get help.
Seek out local support groups.
Participate in our online community for support encouragement. Write your story in detail and share it.
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SharingCustodywithaJerk
email support group
subscribe
Share your story and
Read others’
Your Stories
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4. Become independent, financially and otherwise.
Start reducing your expenses dramatically; increase your income, get a new job, get a second job, save!
Start a part time business from home.
Work with a coach on organizing and simplifying your lifestyle.
Improve your “relationship” with prosperity/abundance. Create Reserves in all areas of life: time, money, love, support.
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- online ProsperityProject
(an excellent program that empowers
you to create prosperity from the inside out)
www.writeyourownpinkslip.com
help for secret entrepreneurs
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5. Work on strengthening you Personal Foundation
Work this program to strengthen who you are and how you live.
A coach can help keep you focused and supported as
you eliminate Tolerations, clarify your Needs, set stronger Boundaries;
>> take the Clean Sweep Assessment.
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Email me
Materials for Self Study are available in the
Client only Area
and the GYM
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6. Learn and Practice Assertiveness Techniques.
Take classes, practice, practice, practice! Hire a coach!
Strategy Tip: Recognize-Relax/Wait for Clarity-Respond
Article: Who is running your show - your fears or your wisdom?
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7. Get on a Personal/Spiritual Path!
“There is a spiritual solution to everything”, says Wayne Dyer.
Strengthen your trust and relationship with God (or
your Higher Power) and Your own guidance. Plan your life ahead by what is important to YOU.
Read our articles about the Path of Least Resistance, Wu Wei, the Taoist
Approach, Attraction Principles, The Core Dynamics of Common Problems; practice relaxation, meditation, emotional freedom techniques, tai chi, yoga.
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The Path of Least Resistance
(Universal Law of Attraction)
What is Wu Wei
Taoist Approach to Living
www.abraham-hicks.com
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8. Take good care of yourself.
A coach can help you reorganize and simplify, buff up your life and your well being. Practice: Extreme Selfcare; simplify and
automate your life: bills, chores, shuttling the kids. Exercise, drink water, rest, play. Meditate.
Distracting yourself with activities that bring you joy is empowering
in itself!
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The 2 Minute Rule
Materials for Self Study are available in the
Client only Area
and the GYM
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9. Get a life! that is distinctly separate from the jerk.
Detach and separate from all common connections you may have.
Explore, discover what you really
want, who you are, your talents, interests, strengths. Get creative! What brings you Joy? What makes you smile? How can you best serve others and yourself?
Play
with your children! Upgrade your rolodex! Create a loving and supportive Community around who YOU really are!
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www.humandesignamerica.com
(Insights into what makes you uniquely YOU)
Materials for Self Study are available in the
Client only Area
and the GYM
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10. Design a Plan and a Strategy for Freedom
I can help you design a comprehensive life makeover, customized to your needs, circumstances and desired outcome.
Ask me about The 8 step Coaching Program here .
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Email me to create your own customized solution/program
(schedule of
current classes, workshops & programs)
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