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The Serial Jerk - Profile
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The disordered thinking processes of the criminal / antisocial mind are succinctly described in Stanton E. Samenow's book:
Straight Talk About Criminals: Understanding and Treating Antisocial Individuals
Published by Jason Aronson; October 2002
For example:
"Certain people who I term non-arrestable criminals behave criminally towards others , but they are sufficiently fearful
[and knowledgeable of the law - HC] so that they do not commit major crimes. We all know them: individuals who shamelessly use others to gain advantage for themselves. Having little empathy, they
single-mindedly pursue their objectives and have little remorse for the injuries they inflict. If others take them to task, they become indignant and self-righteous and blame circumstances. Such people
share much in common with the person who makes crime a way of life. Although they may not have broken the law, they nonetheless victimize others."
(Chapter 8, The criminal mind exists independent of particular laws, culture or customs)
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Important Note:
Please use the summary of characteristics of the the “Serial Jerk” (below)
carefully; my intention is to provide knowledge that I have gained from my own experience and research. I hope that it
will help you recognize who you are dealing with. In no way do I want you to substitute your judgment for mine. I cannot stress enough how important it is that you seek specialized professional help if you think that your ex may fall in the category which I call “serial jerks”.
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Acknowledgment
Materials on this page are inspired by and adapted
with full permission and encouragement from Tim Field, Ph.D. http://www.successunlimited.co.uk/ who helped me understand. Please, also check out the references and resources at the bottom of this page. Getting educated on toxic personalities will provide knowledge and information about their predictability only; for legal remedies or medical support please seek the services of a licensed health or legal professional.
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"All cruelty springs from weakness."
Seneca, Philosopher, 4BC-AD65
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The Serial Jerk - Profile
A Jerk is a non-arrestable criminal who ...
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- is a convincing, practiced liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment
- has a Jekyll and Hyde nature -
is vile, vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature - only the current target of the jerk's aggression sees both sides; whilst the Jekyll side is described as "charming" and convincing enough to deceive you, your mutual friends and family, and a court of law, the Hyde side is frequently described as "evil"; Hyde is the real person, Jekyll is an act.
- excels at deception and should never be underestimated in their capacity to deceive
- uses excessive charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superior authority or others are present (charm can be
used to deceive as well as to cover for lack of empathy)
- is glib, shallow and superficial with plenty of fine words and lots of form - but there's no substance
- is possessed of an exceptional verbal facility and will outmaneuver most people in verbal interaction, especially at times of conflict
- is often described as smooth, slippery, slimy, ingratiating, fawning, toadying, obsequious, sycophantic
- relies on mimicry, repetition and regurgitation to convince others that he or she is both a "normal"
human being and a well informed, objective yet tough-love administrator, as in extolling the virtues of the latest psycho/social fads and pouring forth the accompanying jargon is unusually skilled in being able to anticipate what people want to hear and then saying it plausibly cannot be trusted or relied upon
- fails to fulfill commitments
- shows an arrested level of
emotional development; whilst language and intellect may appear to be that of an adult, the jerk displays the emotional age of a five-year-old
- is emotionally immature, emotionally untrustworthy and an emotionally draining others without exception
- exhibits unusual and inappropriate
attitudes to sexual matters, sexual behavior and bodily functions; underneath the charming exterior there are often suspicions or hints of sex discrimination and sexual harassment, perhaps also sexual dysfunction, sexual inadequacy, sexual violence or sexual abuse
- in a relationship, is incapable of initiating or sustaining intimacy
- holds deep
prejudices (e.g. against the opposite gender, people of a different sexual orientation or color, other cultures, religious beliefs, or heritage, foreigners, people with disabilities, illnesses or who are unusual in any other way, etc. - prejudiced people are unvaryingly unimaginative) but goes to great lengths to keep this prejudicial aspect of their personality secret
- is self-opinionated and displays arrogance, audacity, a superior sense of entitlement and sense of invulnerability and untouchability
- has a deep-seated contempt of people in contrast to his or her professed compassion
- is a control freak and has a compulsive need to control everyone and everything you say, do, think and believe; for example, will launch an immediate personal attack
attempting to restrict what you are permitted to say if you start talking knowledgeably about psychopathic personality or antisocial personality
disorder in their presence - but aggressively maintains the right to talk (usually unknowledgeably) about anything they choose; jerks despise anyone who enables others to see through their deception and their mask of sanity; they become belligerent and aggressively violent when exposed;
- displays a compulsive need to criticize whilst simultaneously refusing to value, praise and acknowledge others, their achievements, or their existence
- shows a lack of joined-up thinking with conversation that doesn't flow and arguments that don't hold water
- flits from topic to topic so that you come away feeling you've never had a proper conversation
- refuses to be specific and never gives a straight answer
- is evasive and has a Houdini-like ability to escape accountability
- undermines and destroys anyone who the jerk perceives to be an adversary, a potential threat, or who can see through the jerk's mask
- is adept at creating conflict between those who would otherwise collaborate incriminating information about them
- is quick to discredit and neutralize anyone who can talk knowledgeably about antisocial or sociopathic behaviors
- is also quick to belittle, undermine, denigrate and discredit anyone who calls, attempts to call, or might call the jerk to account
- is highly manipulative, especially of people's perceptions and emotions (e.g. guilt)
- poisons people’s minds by manipulating their perceptions
- when called upon to share or address the needs and concerns of others, responds with impatience, irritability and aggression
- is arrogant, haughty, high-handed, and a know-all
- often has an overwhelming, unhealthy
and narcissistic attention-seeking need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate person, in contrast to their behavior and treatment of others; the jerk sees nothing wrong with their behavior and chooses to remain oblivious to the discrepancy between how they like to be seen and how they are seen by others
- is mean-spirited, officious, and often unbelievably petty
- is mean, stingy, and financially untrustworthy
- is greedy, selfish, a parasite and an emotional vampire
- is always a taker and never a giver
- is convinced of their superiority and has an overbearing belief in their qualities of leadership but cannot distinguish between leadership (maturity,
decisiveness, assertiveness, cooperation, collaboration, trust, integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness, aggression, manipulation, distrust, deceitfulness)
- often fraudulently claims qualifications, experience, titles, entitlements or affiliations which are ambiguous, misleading, or bogus
- often misses the semantic meaning of language, misinterprets what is said, sometimes wrongly thinking that comments of a satirical,
ironic or general negative nature apply to him or herself
- knows the words but not the song
- is constantly imposing on others a false reality made up of distortion and fabrication
- sometimes displays a seemingly
limitless demonic energy especially when engaged in attention-seeking activities or evasion of accountability and is often a entrepreneur-aholic or apparent workaholic
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Responsibility
The serial jerk appears to lack insight into his or her behavior and seems
to be oblivious to the crassness and inappropriateness thereof; however, it is more likely that the jerk knows what they are doing but elects to switch off the moral and ethical considerations by which normal people are bound. If the jerk knows what they are doing, they are responsible for their behavior and thus liable for its consequences to other people. If the jerk doesn't know what they are doing, they should be evaluated and diagnosed on the grounds of diminished responsibility and the provisions of the Mental Health Act should apply.
For more information on how to obtain a psychological evaluation and legal help goto
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/index.html
SPARC : Separated Parenting Access and Resource Center
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Validity of Testimony
Because of the Jerk’s Jekyll and Hyde nature, compulsive lying, charm and plausibility, the validity of
this person's testimony cannot be relied on in disciplinary proceedings, appeal hearings, and under oath in a court of law. Emphasize this when taking action.
Mediation with this type of
individual is inappropriate. Serial jerks regard mediation (and arbitration, conciliation, negotiation etc.) as appeasement, which they ruthlessly exploit; it allows them to give the impression in public
that they are negotiating and being conciliatory, whilst in private they continue the bullying. The lesson of the twentieth century is that you do not appease aggressors.
For more information on how to obtain a psychological evaluation and legal help goto
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/index.html
SPARC : Separated Parenting Access and Resource Center
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Additional Resources:
More Info on Personality Disorders:
Personality Disorders
Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited
by Sam Vaknin, PhD
The strength of this book comes from the author's vantage point: he is a Narcissist. He is an 'insider', who discovered that he
has the unbridled trait of narcissism and that this was the source of many of the difficulties in his professional and personal life. If you wish to get under the skin of a Narcissist , if you wish to
get to know how he thinks and feels and why he behaves as he does, then this is the book for you.
Or, you may want to visit his web sites at:
http://malignantselflove.tripod.com/4.html
http://www.suite101.com/welcome.cfm/npd
http://www.suite101.com/welcome.cfm/verbal_emotional_abuse
http://www.suite101.com/welcome.cfm/spousal_domestic_abuse
Many people dealing with a bully in the family have found some of these pages helpful:
www.successunlimited.co.uk/bully/attent.htm
www.successunlimited.co.uk/bully/munchaus.htm
www.successunlimited.co.uk/bully/bpd.htm
www.successunlimited.co.uk/related/family.htm
www.successunlimited.co.uk/bully/npd.htm narcissistic personality disorder
www.successunlimited.co.uk/bully/apd.htm antisocial personality disorder
Robert D Hare
is a world-leading
authority on psychopathic behavior and author of The Hare PCL-R Psychopathy Checklist Revised. See http://www.hare.org/
Tribal Elders has links to sites on narcissism and psychopathy
Tim Field
Author, "Bully in sight", www.successunlimited.co.uk/books/bismain.htm
Co-author, "Bullycide: death at playtime", www.successunlimited.co.uk/books/bullycid.htm
Publisher, "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder", www.successunlimited.co.uk/books/ptsdmain.htm
Founder, UK National Workplace Bullying Advice Line
Be validated and empowered by visiting Bully OnLine at www.bullyonline.org
Books:
Dealing with manipulative people:
In Sheep's Clothing By George K Simon.
Emotional Blackmail by Susan Forward, Donna Frazier
Without Conscience, the disturbing world of psychopaths among us
by Robert D Hare, accurately describes the psychopathic mindset.
The Mask of Sanity: An Attempt to Clarify Some Issues About the So-called Psychopathic Personality
by Hervey M. Cleckley, Fifth Edition, 1976. The standard work on psychopathy which describes at length the damage a psychopath causes to families and to the community.
It's still in print and if you're dealing with a serial jerk it's essential reading. First written
in 1941 it's rather long and the language is at times quaint but it's as insightful today as it was then. Well worth your investment.
For dealing with an abusive partner or family member (or anyone), I recommend Patricia Evans' book
The Verbally Abusive Relationship
See www.patriciaevans.com , www.verbalabuse.com and www.drirene.com
These two books, based on real families, describe in detail the devastation caused by a
psychopath in the family:
Everything She Ever Wanted, by Ann Rule
Nutcracker: Money, Madness, Murder: a Family Album, by Shana Alexander, 1986
In any proceedings it may be useful to insist that the jerk undergo a psychiatric
evaluation, specifically the Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R). More at www.hare.org
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